This girl is more easily done than said...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
