she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
