Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
