we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
