Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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