whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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