I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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