I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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