That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
