I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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