i permit you to call me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
