You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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