I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
