Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
