It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
