We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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