He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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