just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
