i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
