so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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