Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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