She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And the cops told us we were all naked.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
