My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
