Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I supernannyed him into submission
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
