Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
