Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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