You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
