one might say we're banned from that church
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
