my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
