I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
