After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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