I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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