there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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