I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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