when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
