our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
