Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
