jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
