she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
