Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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