Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
