All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
