If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
