I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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