Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
