4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
