OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
