we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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