fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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