I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
