I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
